Seven Tips on How to Have an Awesome Catholic Relationship

...relationship posts with lists on how to find and have that perfect Catholic relationship seem to be quite popular (particularly with the ladies) so in lieu of my attempt to have a fabulously famous blog post, here is my fail proof list on how to have that perfect, Catholic relationship.*

1. Make sure he's rich. If he's not rich, he's not going to be able to support you, kids, mall sprees, cardmaking expenses or the occasional excursion to Europe. 
2. Speaking of Europe, he has to be European, preferably Austrian or British, because we all know that while American guys are jerks and idiots, European men are inestimably better mannered and smarter. They also tend to be richer, which works well as a package deal with tip number one. 
3. If you're going to go with a Brit, his last name must be Darcy. No exceptions here, ladies - the perfect storybook ending is at stake and we are accepting no compromises 
4. Super ultra catholic - if you're super into Franciscan University praise and worship style, or if you're really into the Latin mass where even the sermon is in Latin, make sure your companion is into the exact same thing you are into. There must be absolutely no discrepancy.
5. Obviously, the man MUST be universally attractive. So basically, he needs to look like a younger Colin firth. 
6. If he's gonna be carrying you around the house all day, your guy better be pretty fit!
7. Also, if you two are gonna be the envy of all who look upon your gorgeous selves, your dude better know how to accessorize. 

These seven points (which are comparable in number to so many Catholic things, making my argument even stronger) are guaranteed to help you find your Prince Charming.
Or Mr. Darcy.
Your pick.


*which I would of course know about, myself having been in very many relationships with men that fit the above list.