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22.9.13

Stressful week

School has been abnormally stressful this year.
I've heard from several people that sophomore year is the most stressful year, but I think that there are a lot of contributing factors in my case.

My sister (and best friend) leaving for a discalced Carmelite convent in July. A cloistered one. Which basically means that we can see her three times a year (behind bars, of course) and call her on her birthday.

Almost all my brothers are gone from home.

And then all my classes are time-consuming, with most of them also being extremely hard and frustrating.

This week in particular is going to be hard. I have two hard quizzes, an exam, two radio projects, a graphic design project, a massive load of reading, and this all before Friday. Ugh.

And to top the weekend off, the volleyball team is staying overnight Friday to play our first and two hardest conference games of the season in one day.
We've really been struggling lately, and I'm not sure why. Not enough consistency, no true team cohesiveness, lack of staying in the mindset that volleyball really is just a game and is supposed to be fun. I dunno. Either way, it's frustrating (and rather boring) to be on the bench and watch a tight team play when I would love to go out and just have fun playing.
I am all for the team, and if everyone out there is trying their hardest and having fun (excepting an occasional bad day), then I'll gladly sit on the bench. But as it is, I want to ask coach to just put me in. Maybe it sounds selfish and proud. Maybe it is. I'm not sure, but we need to get back to the way we played games earlier on in the season, or I'll go crazy sitting on the bench.

And then I got confused and thought an e-mail I got from Paper Crafts magazine was an acceptance e-mail, to find out Friday that it was just a informative e-mail. Drat.

It's nice that I get to still design though, and for school, but at the same time, I have a project due Thursday, and we have spent literally one class going over a couple basics in Photoshop. Not enough to know how to actually put my project together. Sure, the teacher signed us up for some Photoshop video class, but I thought we were supposed to learn this in class. And then there's the fact that the class teacher has a weird voice, the videos move slowly, and the entire class takes about twelve hours (of which I have no time for)

On top of all this school stress, I am terrible at studying. I don't like being stuck in one place. I can't focus. Obviously, because I'm on this blog right now instead of studying. Hey, I tried! I've memorized 14 out of 73 definitions for environmental science so far. :P

Normally, I wouldn't blog about my complaints. It seems kinda low, especially when there are other bloggers out there with way bigger issues than mine. But I've had troubles lately being able to communicate with friends. For one, I don't have a lot of time, and when I do, they're usually in class or something. When I am actually around them, I can't seem to get anything out or they're too stressed themselves to really hear it. I'm the kind of person that usually needs at least an hour or two with a friend to talk to them about my stress. I always just feel like I need to get in depth about my problems, and that takes more than fifteen minutes.

And then I feel like a big leech, asking an hour out of someone's time for my complaints, when I'm not being really caring about what their issues are. I've been way too sensitive and whiny (as you can obviously tell from reading all the above)
I know Rosie is frustrated with me and the fact that I don't listen to her very much or very well. I really don't have a good excuse for that.

I guess I'll just try to get this week over with as quickly as possible, and then focus more on being a better sister to Rosie and everyone else. And a better friend.

Meanwhile, here's a card I really like...


Also, any and all prayers would be VERY much appreciated - I need them so much! 

3 comments:

  1. Clare,
    I've been secretly reading this blog, ever since you posted the link on your other blog that I've been secretly reading for a long time. I hope that's ok, especially since I believe you used to read my old blog secretly (?). ;-)

    Anyway... I know you said it seems low to complain since there are other bloggers with bigger issues than you... which might be true, but still. College is HARD. I remember what it was like to be SO busy with classes and band and my service organization, while trying to have a social life, and there were family issues going on back home and I was 240 miles away. Not fun... So, I'll be praying for you this week. And I have a pretty big intention this week too, so if you would pray for me too, that would be fantastic :)

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    1. Also... at some point, you should teach me a bit about photoshop...

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    2. You sly dog, you ;) though 'tis true!
      Thank you! I have been praying for you - what with Chuckie on your hands, you need all the prayers you can get!
      And riggghtttt, once I figure out Photoshop (which is looking like never)

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